My Diary of Triplet Fatherhood

Although my girls have very much settled into preschool now, they’re still very much loners. If you can call a group that. Perhaps cliquey is a better word. In any case, they have so far resisted nearly every effort J or I have made to encourage them to integrate with the other kids.

Generally we’re met with a firm, “We don’t like playing with the other children. We like each other. ” And arguments like “but you can like each other and the others, too, you know”, are met with hard looks.

I see other girls try to join in once in a while. But they don’t generally manage to penetrate far into whatever game is currently on the go and soon wander off to try something less difficult to fathom (like astrophysics). And who can blame them. Even I have trouble keeping up with the intricate and ever-evolving games Evie, Scarlett and Jem come up with.

The games even have their own baffling names. Suggestions like “Let’s play Bima-Glower” might be met with an equally confusing “No, let’s play Bima-Ginna-Glan-Glan-Boo… but without the jumping bit”. At which point they all fetch princess dresses, pirate swords, farm animals (toy) and start running around singing One Day My Prince Will Come from Snow White.

I guess it stems from them playing together from an age when most toddlers aren’t capable of shared games but even they have trouble explaining the lexicon of terms, games and songs they’ve developed over their short lives.

Boys trying to join in have an even harder time. It seems that over the last few months, the girls have come to the conclusion that boys are naughty. All of them. Naming any of the little boys in their preschool is met with a list of transgressions.

Still, I prefer them being overly close to resentful of one another. The main reason the other kids can’t join in is their closeness. They don’t need other kids to be able to play so they haven’t really had to learn to do so.

Which, of course, isn’t to say that they never fall out. Evie, in particular, is becoming a stickler for the rules and gets really upset if the others do anything naughty. Scarlett likes to have things “just so” and can be reduced from happiness to devastation by something as simple as her intricate game being accidentally touched by someone else. And Jem becomes very bothersome towards the others whenever she feels tired or poorly. Most of the time, though, they are happy together.

Only once has one of them said something that fed into two of my worst fears as a dad of triplets – thet they’ll be forced into competitiveness by their similar age and appearance, and that two might gang up on the other. We were sitting round the kitchen table a week or so ago when Jem told me that she liked Evie better then Tettie.

“What’s wrong with Scarlett,” I asked, with curious disapproval

“Because she’s not as pretty as me,” Jem announced.

“Well, I don’t think that’s true,” I replied. “You’re all pretty. And besides being bothered about how pretty you are is vain, like the wicked queen. And what is it you like about Evie, then?”

Jem thought for a bit. “I like that she’s not quite as clever as me.”